What am I doing?  What am I supposed to do?  What is God's plan for me?  These are the questions floating around my head this morning.  Please note, I am not depressed or anything, just feeling like I don't have direction.  Feeling a little lost.

Here's what I know:

I was meant to marry Daniel and have my two amazing boys.

God loves me.

I have eternal life through Christ, our Lord.

Ummm... That's all I got. lol  I know those facts without a doubt.  The rest?  *crickets*    ...I got nothing.

I went to college for like 2 seconds, then I met Daniel and lost all interest in school.  It's not his fault, I was just waiting for anything to distract me/take me away.   Therefore, I only know what I've learned from my subsequent office jobs.  I got my first through a friend of my mom's.  Thanks Nancy!   The second job I got was not handed to me or anything but I did know someone who worked there as well.  Then I was laid off.  The next day I walked into my current office to see if they were hiring and the very next day I was working here.  Six years later, here I still am.  Please note that I am extremely grateful to have a job in this economy.  I am blessed in that respect.  However, as you've probably noticed if you are friends with me on Facebook or read my blog, I have a lot of free time on my hands here.  Work is slow, so I have plenty of time to blog/browse Pinterest/Facebook/read/game/etc...  Too much time to think!  lol

I was reading Jen Hatmaker's blog this morning.  If you don't know who she is, look her up.  She's a hilarious Christian book writer/blogger whom I was introduced to by my friend Ashley.  They both blog and have adopted kids from Ethiopia.  HGTV just started filming a reality show starring her family that will begin airing sometime next year.  Definitely looking forward to that.  Anyway, I was reading her blog and that's what led to this post.  I don't want a reality show, I don't want fame, I don't want publicity.... Per Se.

Here's what I want:

I want to make more income and help my husband financially.   

Also, it'd be nice if I was happy doing my job, but that's it!  That's not too much to ask, is it?  I feel bad that my poor husband has to carry the brunt of the load we bear.  Don't get me wrong, we can still go out and have fun, it's not that  tight.  But the sad fact is, I make a small percentage of our income and I'm not happy in my job.

When I was younger I undoubtedly wanted fame and fortune.  Now, I thank the Lord that I didn't get fame.  (You have to actually try  to get that, btw)  Reality TV probably warded me off for good.  I am quite happy not living under a microscope, thank you very much.  But... what can I do??  Besides the scant abilities I learned on the job (most of which I learned through trial and error), I love to sing, I love DIY projects that I get from Pinterest, I love my little blog, and I love to read.  I briefly contemplated writing a book, I have some pretty wild stories to tell, but I quickly learned that I am not in fact  a good writer. lol  Also, I tend to overshare...  Daniel hates this.  My life is an open book.  Sorry, I'm not sorry!  Maybe I think I'm fascinating or hilarious or something... who knows. lol  Either way, you won't be seeing a "tell-all" from me on the shelves anytime soon.  If only I could invent something, but I am so not creative.

I was going to put ads on here to try to earn some extra income but they want your bank account and all sorts of personal info so I decided against it.  Also, I don't have that many readers (thank you   for reading!) so it wouldn't do me any good anyway.

Jen makes me wish I could do something significant.  I don't need credit.  I just want to do something that matters, ya know?  I'm at a total loss of what that could possibly be.  As a Christian, I want to do something that inspires people and brings them to, or closer to, the Lord.  I'm not perfect, maybe I'm not even a good example of what a Christian ought to be, but I love the Lord with all my heart and I try my best to be a good person. 

So, where does this stream-of-consciousness blog post leave me???

Oh right, at the office, bored per usual...  Contemplating my navel, as they say.  If anyone would like to offer suggestions/insights/distractions, I would welcome them.

I hope you all had a great week.  I'm looking forward to the weekend (obviously).  Pool party/BBQ tomorrow with great friends and soccer games.  Good times.  Hopefully my next post will be more inspiring or entertaining... ;)

Peace!
Holly